Monday, November 19, 2012

Day 204, 2012 Social relations: But that was my idea!




I am continuing on the conference activity described in the previous posts. In this one I am looking at getting angry about someone recycling my idea. During a session where we were working in small groups, I proposed an idea as solution to a problem that we were discussing. Later on, in the next session with many more people, I perceived a former member of this initial group session recycling one of my ideas to gain recognition and attention.


Fears:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I do not get recognised for my contributions to the conference.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that no one at the conference values me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am being left out because I am not doing enough to draw attention to my contributions/value.

If and when I experience fears regarding my contributions, my value, or my acceptance as member of a group, I realise that this is a reflection of how I perceive myself within myself where I am the one causing this fear because I see myself in separation from others and from my environment.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I AM the world, as an instance of my beingness in my physical body, and that there is no other world where I can deflect away what happens in my mind, and project myself onto an external entity - thus I trust myself in taking responsibility for myself as full member of humanity through writing myself out in self-honesty and breathing myself into awareness.


Imagination:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that others at the conference admire my ideas and recognise the value of my contribution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that others want to talk to me and connect with me because they realise that I have useful ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that my ideas propel me forward by putting me into contexts where I can make lots of money.


Thoughts:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself being congratulated by others for my achievements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself dressed in specific clothes in a high ranking award session.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself surrounded by many people where I take a centre position within the context of the communication/discussion.

If and when I go into my imagination about achieving recognition or confirming my self-value, I breathe and bring myself back here, centring my awareness in my body and my immediate physical environment.

I commit myself to stop all delusions on the topic of recognition and achievement and realise that life is here in every moment of breath, and that that is my starting point and all else is a typical mind derivative.


Backchat:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat "I don't like you, you are stealing my ideas" exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat "this is how it works, this is how people get ahead" exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat "I can stand above this, no big deal - I am not my ideas" exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat "I can have a good idea any time, so why bother" exist within me.

If and when I listen to the voices in my head I realise that I am listening to my mind, once again, and stop giving attention to the backchat by continuing to breathe with awareness. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that backchat is merely an outflow of a chain of mental events that I can stop to participate in through self-willed action.

Reactions:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger to the statements that were made by someone in my group who repeated something that I said, not realising that everything that is stated by anyone can never be anything else than the mind speaking through a particular person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react by creating feelings of dislike towards the person who I perceive to have taken the words I said and recycled them at a later point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another on the basis of spoken words because these words have been spoken by me earlier, not realising that by reacting to this situation I have identified myself with the words I spoke, thus giving myself value through the ideas that I can produce instead of realising that I am life and the value of life is life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the situation from a place of inferiority because I believe that the ownership of my ideas makes me a better, more valuable person.

If and when I am in a situation where I believe that I own my ideas and/or my words, I realise that I am trapped in believing that my ideas and/or words are my value and thus I stop and breathe, and slow myself down. I commit myself to see, realise and understand where i am still identifying myself with the external world by placing a particular focus and ownership on a point - and through my awareness of these situations I correct them in self-honesty and in daily living.


Physical:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tense up in my body because I believe that tension in my body protects me from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move around in my seat because I want to offload the energetic charges I am experiencing physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body because I am experiencing myself as less than life.

If and when my body tenses up and I experience a physical reaction through my thoughts I breathe and look at the situation in self-honesty. I commit myself to stop abusing my body by stopping my mind breath-by-breath.


Consequence:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that by allowing these kinds of thoughts, reactions and so forth, I keep myself trapped in my pre-programmed design, where I keep myself in separation from the rest of existence instead of taking responsibility to become the change that I want to see in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that these types of thoughts, reactions and so forth are not of benefit to further my work and position within the community of researchers but instead will continue to keep me in separation instead of living equality and working in cooperation with others.

If and when I realise that I allow my thoughts to separate myself from the group, I stop and breathe, and slow myself down because I realise that this impacts my participation as a group member. I commit myself to stop all resistances towards changing myself, to become an equal partner, in building a new world of equality and oneness.  

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