Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day 200, 2012 Socialising and the split world syndrome No.5



This is the final post in this series. The basic premise of the situation starts with day 195. In this post I apply self-forgiveness to the physical dimension as well as the consequences.


Physical:

unsettled, my body is agitated

nervous laughter

irregular breathing

on edge



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as unsettled and agitated - as my physical body gives me feedback when I experience myself as uncomfortable in social networking situations.

I commit myself to stop myself in regards to this situation by doing the following: when and if I am in a social networking situation where I am feeling uncomfortable and agitated I bring myself here in awareness and breathe in awareness as I am engaging with others. I do this repeatedly until it's done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh nervously because I try to cover up that I feel uncomfortable in the present social situation.

I commit myself to stop myself from laughing nervously by breathing here in awareness and realise that these are automated behaviour mechanisms that I have allowed and accepted are my responsibility to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself breathing irregularly because I am in a social situations where I allow my mind to interfere with me being in awareness.

I commit myself to stop placing my awareness outside of myself by attending to my breath in awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself on edge because I am in a social situation where I allow automated thought to interfere with my communication.

I commit myself to stop and not allow myself to go into agitation or this "on edge" existence by simply relaxing using the awareness of my breath.


Consequence:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the consequence of not being here in social networking situation is that I am unaware of what is happening around me, and that I cannot cease the moment to direct my conversations and also choose my conversation partners in regards to my networking endeavour because I am preoccupied by my mind.

I commit myself to stop all fears related to interacting with others - and live the understanding that only in awareness I can actually see what is happening in a situation and maximise the situation so that I direct it to a place that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if and when I do not stop the fears I have of others, then I am not able to benefit from a networking event because I am caught up in my mind, and this will be reflected in the result.

I commit myself to work on stopping my fears when talking to others because I realise that the results are always in relation to my fear as I produce the cause and the effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if I do not stop my fears when networking with others that it will not propel me into the higher echelon in my professional environment - and this is tied to money and influence.

I commit myself stop my fears because I realise that all life will benefit when I do what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that these types of environments are a testing ground for me to give myself feedback about any fears that come up when I relate to others.

I commit myself to actively participate in environments where I encounter my fears so that I give myself the opportunity to release them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that to get to know myself - as the mind - I can get to know myself through another as I reflect myself within another. 

I commit myself to stop seeing myself as separate and work on this point step-by-step and breath-by-breath until it's done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that relationships with others are essential, and that fearing others reveals that I fear myself and that I do not want to look at myself, which will always cause repercussions in my life - most of all economic ones.

I commit myself to no longer allow my fears to dictate my economic situation.

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