Saturday, November 10, 2012

Day 196, 2012 Socialising and the split world syndrome No.2





This post continues from the previous post. Here I am looking at the thought dimension.

A picture of me wanting to address someone I met earlier and opening my mouth to say his or her name and nothing comes out and everything around me freezes at once, leaving me standing in this frozen picture with my mouth open.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought exist within me where I project the future of not knowing someone's name and not daring to ask to have the person repeat the name because I do not want to make a big deal out of fearing that I won't remember the name.

I realise that I can make sure to catch the person's name from the beginning, as the introduction proceeds. I commit myself that if and when I can't hear properly what is being said that I will ask the person to repeat their name, and then I will repeat it myself to make sure that I have said it once and know how to pronounce it.



A picture of me and someone else who I am talking with, and they are desperately trying to move on to the next person yet I keep talking to them so that they do not dare to pull away. The person looks uncomfortable with sweat running down their temples and other little subtle signs that he or she wants to end this conversation. In this I remain oblivious to what is happening. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto to the thought that I predict that the person wants to end the conversation and move of whereas I am not really here because I have distracted myself with anxiety and worry.

I realise that this point cannot only be assessed correctly if I stop all fears. I commit myself that if and when I have the worry that I won't be able to read the signal of another person's body language, I stop and breathe and trust myself in making the right assessment.


A picture of me not being able to move myself within the conversation because I have nothing interesting to say and as I am standing there with my conversation partners the conversation dies down, and eventually they leave and talk to someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought exist within me that projects the future of conversations I am involved in, instead of being here one and equal to the conversation.

I realise that conversations are never static and always change, where all are participants and not one participant is in control of how the conversation evolves but all together do so. I commit myself that if and when I have a conversation that I will take responsibly for my participation, not more not less.


A picture of me where I say: "oh no" quite loud as someone tells me how I missed so and so, who was exactly the person I was looking for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought exist within me where I regret the past.

I realise that I can make sure to be prepared and have done my research on who is who before I go to a meeting. I commit myself to prepare myself when I go to a meeting for networking reasons so that I have a grasp on who is who, and if I can't manage to meet that person I stop all thoughts related to regret and failure.


A picture of me rambling on about my work and not making a lot of sense,  and the person politely nodding their head but visibly puzzled by what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an assumption exist inside of me in form of a thought that no one is going to ask me these types of questions.

I realise that I must be able to give what I want from others to others as well, and thus must prepare myself to do. I commit myself to prepare some of the typical questions I am asked so that I am able to present the information in an easily accessible fashion. 

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