Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Day 180, 2012 Never good enough: I commit to trust.

In this post and the posts to follow I am deconstructing the "I am not good enough character". Previously I rendered the fear dimension visible to myself, now I am following up with commitment statements.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears of how I am not good enough for that which I am about to embark upon, whether that be something I know how to do or something I learn to do.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears of how I am not good enough and the moment I realise that such a thought is entering my mind, I stop myself by taking a deep breath and putting my awareness in my extremities so that I make contact with my fingertips and how they touch the physical world or simply feel my arms hanging next to my body, and I feel my toes in my shoes, and how my feet touch the ground.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears that I must constantly improve myself and strive to better myself in every way, and in that I enjoy who I am in this moment of breath and enjoy the process of self-change, without looking at it through the lens that I am not good enough but realise that the process of changing is a process of release from what I have created as limitation and entrapment.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears of not being good enough and in that I stop all self-defeat which hinges on the comparison with others, whereby I first must evaluate others to compare myself and judge myself as not good enough, and wherein I realise that if I stop evaluation all together I can realise that each person and all that is here is just a facet of me.

I commit myself to stop believing myself that I am not deserving enough to have a comfortable life in which I can walk my process and create a place for me in this world that is supportive of walking my process, and thus I now take it as a given that these things are open to me and my part is to accumulate the points in the physical to make it happen.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears and start to trust in my Self instead of placing my trust into the validation by others and in that I am free to pursue whatever it is that I am pursuing without expectation that I must be better than what I am in this moment, and in doing so I realise that even if this is in the context of having another approve of what I do - I don't identify with the judgement and realise that this the system we have created and that I, for the moment, must work within the system as it is.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears that I am not good enough to initiate and develop the ideas that I have because I realise that these fears are not real and that I am sabotaging myself not only in expressing these ideas but also in learning the skills that are necessary to do so - therefore I assess what I need to do in common sense, which skills will enable me to develop my ideas and I will pursue all related activities in common sense.

I commit myself to stop believing my fears in relation to my agreement and look at the evidence, as the stability I have within the agreement and stop doubting that this stability is temporary, because I realise that what I am reflecting here is the programming from my parental relationships where there was never any stability - and thus I stop projecting my memories and past experiences onto my agreement partner.


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