Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 175, 2012 Thoughts and fears that lead me to take things personal



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek meaning and interpretation in other people's actions instead of being wholly concerned with myself from the point of equally walking here in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others but do not want to be judged myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept judgement as valid and thus judge myself on the premise of someone else' action that I interpret from my programmed 'mentality' in reference to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to categorise and classify that which is said by others instead of just leaving it to be here without any attachment to interpretation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation from another and that is why I must judge what is being said by the other from my point of view, in reference to how I can be more than what I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I react to someone else' behaviour it serves me in some way to become a better person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the reaction of others to guide me instead of me guiding myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that it is my mind which I am listening to and not the other person, when I take things personally, which I do - it is based on my mind's interpretations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create backchat in reaction to someone else' acting in the world and that this backchat then becomes bigger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that taking things personally is only a mental state if I judge the outcome of my interactions with others as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that whatever I judge as negative is highly subjective and has been programmed into my database of memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that what I experience is from the starting point of fear when I take things personal and not from the starting point of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not doing, acting and performing in satisfying ways for my world around me, and thus I respond by taking that which is said and which does not corresponds to my expectation as a personal 'attack'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when my world responds to me in ways that do not match what I would like then that will have consequences on my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the world around me as separate to me, while I do not realise that I am my world at all times. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself because I do not know myself and therefore I fear my reaction which are part of my programmed existence but which I have not been aware of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have memories of my mother's reactions to another's responses and her ensuing anger from such a situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used my mother as role model even though I realised that she 'over reacted' to her communications with the world around her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to 'over react' to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise on the example of my mother that these fear reactions are only one's own reactions and that they do not connect to the world around us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my mother emotionally - whereas if I had remained here, I would have seen already that all we can ever react to is ourselves. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to be affected by other's emotions in reaction to me, when the person is taking things personal, and to avoid being confronted with their programs I have 'adjusted' my response because I know that the other will react - and thus as long as I try to protect the other by making adjustments to my own behaviour I allow myself, in turn, to continue talking things personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that fearing on one hand that what I say is taken personal by someone else, and on the other hand, reacting in fear to another's communication with me, originates in me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted from fear not considering my starting point at all times.

I commit myself to stop the fear that surfaces in each act and communication with another which is manifested within me by seeing the potential likelihood that there is a negative meaning to what is being communicated and acted upon.

I commit myself to stop fearing to take pictures and words in without any interpretation by my mind and realise that I miss nothing when I do not interpret the world around me but gain access to my Self by walking here in breath.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that each is in their own reality bubble and that freeing myself from this bubble means that I stop any reading between the lines, or ways of seeing the situation from the standpoint of not trusting myself.

I commit myself to let go of the memories and the preprogrammed ways of existing in the world through self-forgiveness and walking the self-corrective application.

I commit myself to gently stop all thoughts in relation to self-evaluation and continue to walk my process in full awareness.

I commit myself to create a world without fear and judgement by applying myself consistently.

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