Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 173, 2012 My name, the remote control...




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made my name a 'handle' for my emotions and feelings who can be evoked by anyone depending on how they call my name and what energetic charges they exhibit to which I respond, either directly in response to their energetic charges and/or in response to my own memories which are triggered by being addressed by my name.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an 'oscillating' relationship with my name where I experience in part positive and in part negative perceptions about my name.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my name as positive, suitable and as expressive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my name as negative, heavy, and as restricting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have memories of my mother calling my name angrily, and me reacting immediately within fear and anxiety of having to face something I am not aware of - and knowing by the tone of my mother's voice that it would entail something she disliked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when my name is spoken by people in authority positions I expect a demand/task/result that is negative for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have disliked people who mispronounced my name or made no effort to pronounce it correctly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with negative judgement to others who are not pronouncing my name with the right accent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike how Germans pronounce my name.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike how English/Americans pronounce my name - who do not speak any other language than English.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recall my mother calling me in the mornings and me reacting to her tone of voice and judging it negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as superior to my mother, in my secret mind, which is how I coped with her calling me when she was angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my name has a 'colour' and that 'colour' suits me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for the melody in my name as something to identify myself with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others positively if the pronounce my name with pleasure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others positively if they pronounce my name with the right accent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when my partner says my name at times, in that I am reminded how my mother used to call me when she was angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike signing off with only the capital letter of my name.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with my name and have 'read' definitions into my name - and have labelled these as belonging to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately react in fear when my name is called.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my name is more original than other names.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to have a 'good' name is important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that names have meaning.

I commit myself to locate and identify all relevant memories having to do with my name and release all trapped energetic charges that activate me whenever my name is used by another.

I commit myself to stop my name from having impact on my life and realise that my name is nothing more but an identifier for me as a person so that I know that I am being addressed directly.

I commit myself to release all fears about my name, the way it is spoken or written, and stop attributing any meaning to it in any form.


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