Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 160, 2012 Divided in writing, I stop Pt.3

I continue this series from Pt.2, by looking at the imagination and backchat dimension.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I write a lot of papers one day I am going to be very good at it and then I won't have to work so hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that one day I write a paper that is very popular because it will shift "thinking" and create more understanding regarding the topic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I must write to catch the reader's attention in more than one way, otherwise my papers are some of those boring research papers that I read.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that one day I have devised the perfect structure for retrieving information that forms research.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that those who write papers a lot have their own little methods in how they keep track of papers and the content.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more hours I put into a paper the better it will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the better I am networked the more likely I write a good paper.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others have more help than I do and that is why the quality of their paper is better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who review papers kind of know whose paper it is and depending on that they determine whether the paper is accepted or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that academia is one big clique and that one has to get into to be able to "play" with the others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who write papers feel superior because this is what academia likes to promote to make up for the lack of money in comparison to those who actually do make money when running businesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing papers will eventually be rewarded through money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that academia is just as dishonesty than every other business, and that only those who have a business sense can 'survive'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine my life will be better with lots of papers under my belt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that people who review papers forget how difficult it is to write papers - and that by being a harsh reviewer they can vent their personal frustrations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at other options regarding my work because I now see "behind" the curtain of research work and imagine that I could have made a better choice - in creating a career for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that research work will continue in the same vein as when I plugged into the "safe" structure of the university as a student.

I realise that writing papers is just another job that I can do like I do any other job and what is most important is that I remain here in breath.

I commit myself to stop all backchat about my writing, how others write and review, and focus on the paper to be written at hand.

I commit myself to stop all imagination as what impact or not the paper might have and focus on getting the job done.

I commit myself to establish a method of organising my paper efforts that I built upon and that will be a form of self-support.

I commit myself to stop looking outside of myself for writing high quality papers.

I commit myself to realise and understand that 'high quality' means the process by which I produce the paper is through breathing.

I commit myself to stop wavering in my commitment to the job and stop all wishful thinking about the choices that I had before entering academia. 

1 comments:

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger