Sunday, September 30, 2012

Day 155, 2012 "I have no options"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any options or not seeing any options that resolve the situation that I m facing and in that I fear that another will decide my fate. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I have no options but to be stuck in the situation and thus I punish myself through feeling stuck. 


 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I don’t have the possibility to control my reality because I am dependent on another’s feedback.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I don’t do the right thing in resolving the situation I fuck up my participation in something that I really want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking for the most practical common sense solution because I fear losing that which I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loss because I did not make the right moves or the right decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that things are totally different than how I perceive them to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I’ll never find out why I am not getting any answer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believe that the other party is negatively oriented towards me -thus there is no need to even try to communicate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I should just drop the topic altogether because it is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am less than the other and that I am at their mercy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must find the most gentle way to communicate my question to the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if the person does not communicate back with me then that means they don’t want to talk to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am exposed for the evil person that I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don’t get access then my one chance to change things in my life is gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am bothering the other person, and thus I need to hold back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am desperate for a solution of the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’ll never get another chance to enter into something that is of the same quality/level/interest to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that the person I am dealing with will lash out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that the person knows something about me and I am clueless as to what it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the worst case scenario.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that my behaviour prompted them to react in this manner - thus I feel guilty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I am not what they expected me to be and thus decided to not deal with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that I am being punished for my evilness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that if I decide upon one situation, a different situation will actually come into being which will be to my disadvantage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a number of scenarios that took place in the other person’s world - all of which comprise a disadvantage for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the person is fake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the person is not worth my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I should have reacted differently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the other is mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am still not understanding how business works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I got fooled by their initial friendliness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that whatever I did wrong does not warrant her to react like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what the fuck is wrong with me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start looping in self-defeating thoughts in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself in a state of panic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to frantically look for a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a contracting feeling within my solar plexus area.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a dryness in my mouth and heat in my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as stifled and constrained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to preoccupy myself with the thought and no longer take part in actual reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a decision on what to do based on emotion not on common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act in inferiority or superiority and not from what is practical and equal.


I commit myself to stop interpreting anyone’s action/ non-action and realise that there is only one bottom line in this which is business.

I commit myself to stop myself from building up expectations about another’s behaviour

I commit myself to stop myself from making the interaction with another more than what it is.

I commit myself to understand and realise that all possiblities are equal and to believe that one is more important than another is my mind’s judgement.

I commit myself to understand and realise that every situation can be solved in common sense. 


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