Thursday, September 27, 2012

Day 153, 2012 The end of the line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change my life because I believe that I have reached the end of the line with my current situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am made responsible for a particular event and in response I just want to change the entire situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be more forceful and stating my perspective even if no one wants to hear it but instead I now want to change everything so I no longer have to deal with the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as trapped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not having made a decision in response to an initial finding before the situation evolved with was actually unacceptable to me and where I could have cross referenced the point but instead I just played it down because I feared loss. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to trust myself to have made a decision in the beginning when the unacceptable point was revealed instead I held on because I was hoping that things would turn out ok and in this I was deluding myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not been strong enough to walk away from the situation in the beginning when I should have done so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself in regret. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as angry because I believe that I could have made a better decision in the beginning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could have taken a short pain in the beginning and thus I would not have to deal with this mess now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as exasperated because the situation has not improved even though I believe that I have done my best to improve it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I brought this situation onto myself and thus I must deal with the consequences if I only change the situation now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have shared all aspects that have brought about the current situation with someone so that there would be a record of how things have accumulated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that if I would have shared all the aspects had came down in the course of a period of time,  I would not be in the current situation.

I realise that I must draw conclusions and to stick to them no matter what.

I realise that I can only trust myself and no body else and that I must develop self trust to the fullest extend.

I realise that I put myself aside, that I diminished myself, to support another because I did not want to face myself.

I commit myself to refocus the my life. 

I commit myself to use my breath to refocus my life and to devise new ways of coping with my situation.

I commit myself to do what I must do and not hold back for any reason.

I commit myself to put everything that concern the situation out - and make it shared, so that I have a track record and avoid any misunderstandings about what I did and did not do.

I commit myself to not accept any trespass by myself or the other - and call it out if it happens.

I commit myself to see things for what they are and stop excusing them.

1 comments:

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger