Sunday, September 16, 2012

Day 140, 2012 Fear of pattern recognition


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at my patterns and have created within me physical reactions when anticipating of having to unravel a specific pattern that I have lived as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the suppression of a pattern within me so that my physical has to deal with the consequential reality of fear and anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recreate this sinking feeling of suppression which will cause me to resist to turn back, look back, and not to face myself if I give into the feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don't go into that which I suppress the physical sensation in my lower abdomen will diminish and I can return to feeling physically normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that nothing will just go away but will get more intense through the nature of this physical reality which is based on accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept that I have no option but to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself to my Self in regret of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that my patterns are not unique and that I hold onto to suppression because I judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate when I have hit rock bottom within a particular pattern, because I fail to realise that I have created for myself the possibility to release the pattern for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that to walk out of the mind will be an intense journey and within that I must accept this fact and face it.

I commit myself to stand up from the fear at all times until I am here without fear.

I commit myself to face my programming and realise that that is what it is and that all judgement about it is just another program.

I commit myself to using the tools at my disposal to ease the self-change through walking the self-corrective application with discipline.

I commit myself to expose any and all thoughts to myself where I sabotage the situation of self investigation.

I commit myself to see what is here as the only reality of importance in self-direction. 

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