Saturday, August 25, 2012

Day 123, 2012 Anxiety is an idea is a belief


 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the anxiety character because I have accepted ideas based on the belief that I am ‘less than’ what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the anxiety character can only exist if I accept the thoughts I have as valid without examining the source ‘code’ of the thought which is a belief that I have about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the anxiety character exists because I have invested my ego in a label, a self-definition and when the belief I have of myself clashes with what I desire to be, I create anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that believing an idea as thought is to give myself instructions in how to behave in the physical world where I re-create all my acceptances and allowances, and that thus do not allow myself to step off the cycling mechanism that I use to keep myself enslaved through thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that whenever anxiety enters into me as myself, I have become the expression of an idea that I identify as ‘negative’ which is linked to the belief that I have of myself and that anxiety is the flag to realise and understand that I must investigate what I accept myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that ideas are everywhere in my world and that only good ideas are good because the ‘feed’ my ego which is constructed from self-definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that ideas are a prerogative of the human and that this is part of the preciousness of civilisation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that a belief is also an idea, which I have solidified as my resonant design, and that a belief can be released in one breath, breath-by-breath, to stand free of beliefs and self-definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a believe is more difficult to let go because I believe that it is more deeply ‘rooted’ within me and thus takes more work to release.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to release a belief requires me to work hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of myself of who I would be if I were without anxiety and all the things I would do if I were free of anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without ideas because all I do in my academic work is based on ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I can have ideas when they emerge from the starting point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not allowing ideas to exit as me because I believe I must use the world’s ideas to function in the world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to escape into ideas because I do not want to face my daily participation in physical reality and therefore I entertain myself with ideas, which I then want to act upon blindly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to act on my ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a good life because I won’t be able to act on my ideas if i give up having ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that not having ideas does not mean not allowing ideas within myself but to realise that I must first align myself to be one and equal to what is best for all, to be able to act on ideas that are best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the death of my mind because my mind is where I allow myself to have an idea of myself based on the idea that I have of myself as belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself as an idea and realise that life in the physical does not rely on ideas, because ideas are disconnected and separated from the context of all that is moving as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the moment I have an idea come up as picture of what I desire or what I not desire, I can just breathe to bring myself here and stop all acceptance in the ease of being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that whenever I have a belief about myself I exist in polarisation and that all ideas are categorised as good and bad ideas according to the belief I have of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that anxiety is part of my ‘package’ because of my family’s exposure to war, destruction and loss, and that anxiety is therefore more pronounced in my design than in other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anxiety character by utlising my justification character to find an excuse to allow myself to exist in anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept anxiety and not accept conscious breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my ego is separate from my ideas, where I do not realise that my ego is linked to all of my ideas, including the ones I want to ‘live’ up to and the ones I don’t want to hear about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can deny a belief and that it will go away if I do so, not realising that a belief will not just go away but that I must face myself within the belief so that I can forgive the belief and walk the self-corrective application.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that beliefs, ideas and desires are all at the same rank and can be forgiven through breathing, and that it is the in the decision of who I am, how long I want to hold on to the pattern.

I commit myself to release my ego through breathing and through self-forgiveness, and within that I release all fears of the death of my mind. I herewith understand and realise that I am also committed to drop all beliefs I have about my mind, regarding its death and take the dying process one breath at the time.

I commit myself to trace the sources of my ideas so that I can identify the underlying belief which allows the idea to emerge, as I equally identify the underlying desire, which propels the idea into my conscious mind - and realise that any idea is 'neutral' and that I am the one who categorises the idea based on my alignment with equality and oneness or self-interest.

I commit myself to face myself in every way and to confront myself with my acceptances and allowances until I can stand free from the mental entrapment and act from the starting point of what is best for all, at all times. 

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