Monday, August 13, 2012

Day 116, 2012 How making money connects to the picture I have of myself.


This post continues the series of posts on "what I want in the picture that I am"  Day 53, Day 54, Day 55, Day 56Day 58, Day 59, Day 60, Day 61, Day 64, and Day 65

The reference interview for this series on EQAFE by ANU: "Facing the question of who I am"

In this post I draw out the connection between ego and money on the desire/wants/needs in relation to making 'serious' money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a
possible opportunity of making money as invalid because I believe that I can predict what is entailed in the tasks that I have to do, and
from this mental prediction I judge this opportunity because I have a fixed I idea of what kinds of tasks are enjoyable and which are not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have
programmed myself to live up to status and recognition - in the way I have defined it - where I decline an opportunity of making serious money because I limit myself to ‘only’ get involved in activities that I consider “suitable” in the framework of the picture I have of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that by limiting myself in this way, I trap myself in struggle
because I cater to my ego instead of catering to what is best for all,
and thereby being unrealistic what it takes to survive in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still
believe that this system has something to offer - something of value to life - and that I want to participate in these value-creating
activities that will improve life on earth - when in fact I do not
realise that this is a justification because the real issue is that I
justifies my desires under false pretense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that I can support the change for a better world by making
'serious' money - and by utlising this money I make to further the cause of equal money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can project what the future will be like -  if I were to engage in these tasks -  when in fact I am totally clueless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself in conflict where I am ‘excited’ about the potential of making 'serious' money but am already 'weary' of the tasks I think I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that desires/wants/needs equate to limitation because they do not consider all that is here equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an alternative reality in my head where I work out how all the
ingredients of money, work, and live style come together which I then judge as good or bad - and thus as acceptable/unacceptable and this then forms my starting point for making a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must equate my performance in the work world with money whereby I expect that others expect me to perform at the highest level - if I make a lot of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate my self-worth with money and thus react to being asked to produce a figure of how much I want to earn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that the value of my work can never be equated with numbers because I am life and therefore the only value of me and what I do and express - is life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worth the salary I would like to earn because I limit myself through fear of failure and 'what if...' thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have
created a morality around the issue of how much money I can make, because I equate making money with what I deserve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that to deserve is to deliberately create myself 'less than' -
so that I do not have to take responsibility for what I create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that deservedness is a religious concept which describes the
act of serving devotedly to a higher being, which determines life and death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that deservedness is the starting point of negative polarity
seeking the positive polarity through some outside force, that which is given as reward, thus it is the acceptance and allowance to do whatever it takes to satisfy the external and act in self-interest without responsibility to self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I disappoint because I believe that when one is put on a high pedestal, one necessarily has to come down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to evaluate my actions based on my expectations of myself - which is also part of the picture I have of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not
realise that all thoughts around the issue of money and how I see
myself can be resolved with self-trust, trusting that I can be here in
every moment and approach any tasks in common sense.

I commit myself to stop associating money with deservedness and performance.

I commit myself to stop equating money with my value as life.

I commit myself to stop all links with potential failure and high income.

I commit myself to stop investing myself in limitations by catering to my desires/wants/needs.

I commit myself to stop looking for solutions in a system that abuses life and will never stop doing so - thus a system that is
dysfunctional and does not offer solutions.

I commit myself to make serious money if the opportunity is given to me and will apply myself in breath to act in self-honesty.

I commit myself to equally let go of all expectation if and when the opportunities of making 'serious money' ceases to exist and treat this opportunity as any other opportunity, regardless of the amounts of money involved.

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