Day 115, 2012 The justification character: the last stop in the fight for my picture-perfect limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions by creating the ‘justification’ character. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification character to remain stuck in my opinions:  the justification character is the middle ‘man’ who supports me to co-exist with my opinions, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have opinions because I have a picture of myself in the world how I desire myself to be, and how I want others to see me and by maintaining and expanding this picture I use a number of characters that support me in my self-created illusions, existent in my mind’s eye. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I deploy the justification character to ascertain the opinion character and the belief character whereby I use the blame character and the judgement character to support my opinion and belief character. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the beginning of this chain of characters always starts with me wanting to cater to the picture I have of myself in my mind’s eye - thus the justification character starts with me wanting and desiring to be more than me, here in physical reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am without the picture of me and thus to exist in the world without any justifications. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always know when I am justifying my opinion and my decisions because I listen to my internal self-talk which is a dialogue between two sides whereby I only ‘hear’ my side - that which I justify. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the moment I justify my actions I do not allow myself to investigate the content of my thoughts, consequently I cannot support myself and move out of my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have slowed myself down so that I can identify how the justifications link to the picture I want to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I use the justification character to suppress myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to not realise that when I am in the situation where I need to make a decision I often refer to others for input in that I am soliciting confirmation for my “thinking” by presenting skewed information, because I don’t want to take responsibility for my actions, and once another agrees with me I leverage off the justification character to 'contain' myself - and create a scapegoat by using the blame character if i need to - and when things don’t work out I blame those who have initially confirmed me in my thinking. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when I am in the situation where i need to make a decision that I will ruthlessly abuse information and people, to make a decision that will support me as the picture, an illusionary stagnation, and enslave me in the trajectory I have chosen to walk through the decision. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions complicated and tedious because I use the “I don’t know” character to stall for time until a solution presents itself - any solution -  instead of me taking self-directive action and, in the end, I can justify my inaction through saying "I did not know”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the “I don’t know” character as valid - by justifying my inaction. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disguise the “bottom line” of all situations by deploying the ‘justification’ character and dismissing common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disguise what is best for all by manipulating information so that it suits my justification character. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that the justification character is last step in the consequence of the picture I have of myself in my mind’s eye and which I allow to determine actions. 

I commit myself to stop myself from acting out of justification and investigate to see and realise the picture that I am holding onto.

I commit myself to stop my opinions because I realise that whenI when I have opinions, I buy into my limitations through justification.

I commit myself to stop answering as “I don’t know” to any decisions I have to make and direct myself in breath and with common sense.

I commit myself to address myself in patience through slowing myself down so that I can see what I create through my justifications.