Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Day 111, My speed freak character: this is too slow for comfort


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have never realised that I fear slowing myself down by breathing in awareness because I fear loss of the world around me, in that I fear being left behind by the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made fun of all that is slow - because I feared slowness as I did not understand why it is here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realised that I fear slowing myself down because then I would see who I really am, and would be faced with myself - and thus it is safer to speed up and race around in my mind as in the world, because then I do not have to deal with myself, my internal world, but could focus on all that is external. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing who I am because I am not accepting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself, and have therefore done what I can to hide myself from myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself because I fear that when I am faced with who I am, I realise that I cannot continue as I am, and thus I fear changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I don’t know how I created myself, and where I can change myself to become equal and one, because I fear facing myself by slowing myself down. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create all kinds of ideas around time and the length of time - and even perceive time as having to wait for something, instead of just being here as I am being alive. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separated myself from time and therefore separated myself from my breath because breath is the unit of time as I can live it on earth. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have all kinds of excuses and backchat coming up when I want to slow myself down:
“I don’t have time to slow myself down, I am struggling with time as it is”
“Slowing myself down is like multi-tasking, I was never very good at it”
“I can see who I am, I don’t need to go any slower than this”
“I don’t know what they mean by slowing myself down”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe any thought that comes up in relation to slowing myself down, instead stopping the belief and focussing on breath in awareness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divert myself when I am set to slow myself down, instead of not accepting any diversions by patiently bringing myself back to be here, until the diversion subside. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am slowing myself down I will miss something of importance that is happening in my world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am slowing myself down I am not as effective in my performance in the world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that slowing myself down will disturb my communications with others because I fear others will not understand what is going on with me and reject me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down because then my self-forgiveness flows as I write from Self, which will bring about a change of who I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear accepting myself by slowing myself down. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing myself down because I then see what I accept and allow to exist in the world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing myself down because I fear being bored without the entertainment of my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to my mind and thus I fear slowing down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down because then I am directing myself instead of my mind directing me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have understand that patience and slowness in the world is not accepted, as we only use the idea of patience, to entice ourselves with self-improvement, never actually wanting to better ourselves because we construct a world in competition which is the anthesis to slowing oneself down because to compete we need to speed up to get wherever we think we are going before anyone else. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that slowing myself down is ‘speeding’ myself up because when I am self-directive I am more effective with my time and more effective in having a handle on things in my life.

I commit myself to slowing myself down through my breath,  guided by my breath, in and as my breath.

I commit myself to accept what I see as me when I see me as I slow down, and in that I accept myself to realise that I can change myself to be one and equal with all that is here. 

I commit myself to bring patience into the world as real practical application by slowing myself down as in the moment-by-moment application, and by standing in and as my breath in all my interactions with others. 

I commit myself to layout for others how slowing myself down in breath creates insight into myself and enables me to change myself, by becoming the living example. 

I commit myself to teach children to slow down in breath and to breathe in awareness. 

1 comments:

  1. cool Manuela,

    i can definitely relate to wanting to speed up and thus walking past myself here, to not have to actually see and face myself within and as the moment. Thanx for sharing

    ReplyDelete

 
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