Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 95, 2012 "I should really try harder and help"

I was asked to help in the next days but declined because I am currently extremely tight on time. Though I would have really liked to help as it concerns an area that I enjoy helping in but remained realistic about not taking on more than what I can do within the time frame, which is a point that I am walking at the moment. Afterwards I felt guilty for not trying harder to squeeze my schedule and fit it in this request.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt about not helping another because I know how I "feel" when I ask someone for help, which I do as a last resort, and how I experience myself as disappointed when the other person declines.


I commit myself to approach my own work/tasks within common sense and stop denying that I may need some form of assistance so that I stop myself from creating a time pressure/friction situation for myself and set myself up for disappointment. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else, exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define appreciation, friendship, and loyalty within a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from appreciation, friendship and loyalty through defining appreciation, friendship, and loyalty within a memory of myself feeling disappointed because I did not get what I want from someone else, in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that appreciation, friendship and loyalty are here as me equal and one in every breath.


I commit myself to delete all memories that I have about myself and others, and thus delete all starting points that are based on memories. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my decision because I assume that the person having given me a short time frame is in dire straits and this is how I relate it to my own situation.


I commit myself to stop projecting and assuming what the other person might be going through and stand one and equal to the decision I have made.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in guilt because I fear that next time when I am in need of help another won't be there for me, thus I base my "helping hand" on obligation and payback and not realise that the person is another me and that I help myself when I help another. 


I commit myself to stop functioning from the starting point of self-interest, and stop approaching supporting another within separation by following the belief an "eye for an eye" and within that I commit myself to evaluate what I can/cannot do to assist another from common sense.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use judgement instead of common sense, when I must make a decision that will impact my schedule. 


I commit myself to bring everything about the topic/issue here and make the decision based on what is here in common sense.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take a moment and clear my starting point before deciding to assist/not assist so that I do not create a polarised emotional response, either anxiety because I have taken on too much, or guilt because I fear the other person judging me for my decision. 


I commit myself to slow down and stop myself rushing by realising that there is always a moment as long as I communicate, where I can clear my starting point before proceeding within the conversation. 

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger