Friday, July 13, 2012

Day 86, 2012 My "replayer" character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself permission to replay scenarios, situations I have lived through in my mind where I am revising my participation to where it is more to my liking, it is more effective, and produces an outcome that suits my ego. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to replay situations, scenarios in my mind where I am revising my participating depending on how important the interaction is to my ego.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my "replayer" character who I use to evaluate myself, and thus keep myself trapped in regret and "should haves".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I judge my "replayer" character I judge myself judging myself and thus I compound my self-judgement. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the more I engage with a situation, scenario based on anticipation, expectation the more I engage in mental replay of the situation when the situation, scenario does not turn out as I anticipated, expected - therefore creating exponential energetic charges, when all I have to do is stop. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that replaying a situation is reflecting on what is happening in my life as I have been taught that it is important to learn from a situation through reflection. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that what is here to learn is to be one and equal which means stripping myself of thoughts that are connected to energetic charges, which are all thoughts - because when I self-direct as equal no thinking is necessary. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I replay a scenario in my mind where I revise my participation that I have missed an opportunity for change because regret indicates a moment in time where I can make a decision to stand here in breath but I decide not to do so. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not remove the illusion from my life and deal with what is here in breath in every moment. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I replay in my mind is actually what happened in reality not realising that mental replay is from memory and memory is an illusion which can never give me a accurate view of myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that somewhere there is room for judgement about how I interact in the world, because I have not yet completely deleted attachment to the picture I want to be. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am still holding on to the picture I want to project into the world - thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of the picture that I have created as me, and all the attachment to my wants and desires. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the "replayer" of my mind links to all my desires and wishes in how I want to act in the world, and that the reality is that as long as I allow this replayer I exist as programs.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that neither, how I want to be and how I am moving in the world gives me an accurate understanding of what is here in every moment of breath because my starting point is based on mental evaluation which can never be truthful because my mind does not value life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to oscillate between mental states of automatic behaviour and projected behaviour that suits a picture of me which is attached to my desires  of the picture that I want to be. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the picture as me for energetic charges so that I can exist in my mind to whatever extend, and be it to experience myself in mental replay. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a mental "replayer" which simulates an unsatisfied parent who is punishing me for the lack of good behaviour. 


I commit myself to stop replaying what I have lived through as mental Schauspiel.


I commit myself to stop thinking about the picture I want to be with all its wants & desires. 


I commit myself to stop my ego as the starting point for the picture I want to be and replace it with the starting point as me as standing equal to all that is here in every moment of breath. 


I commit myself to stop all abuse through self-punishment in thought and deed. 


I commit myself to stop all anticipation and expectation of situations, and write out every and all situations in self-forgiveness as anticipation and expectation arises -  so as to stop all "looking back" onto past situation. 



0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger