Monday, July 9, 2012

Day 83, 2012 My "there is always room for improvement" character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be more effective, more efficient, more influential, have a better quality of life, and desire more improvement in all areas of my life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I want to be more of "something" or be better at "something" I am setting myself up to engage in future scenarios of energetic charges because in order to evaluate myself as better or more improved I have to judge myself in relation to my past and therefore I am creating polarisations which are at the basis of energetic charges. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to be here in the moment and apply myself fully as me, one and equal, with all the elements of this moment where considerations of what is best for all guide my decisions. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to be "more of" and "better at" is a form of consumptions, the voracious hunger that plays out on all levels of the world whereby this type of consumption is making myself the "object" of consumption - and thus I fail to see in awareness what it is that I am actually doing to myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this desire for improvement is my mind consuming my physical existence - and thus I do not realise that I am abusing myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this "to be more of" and "better at" is the premise from which society operates because when one is better or more of than someone else one receives money and status. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that "to be more of" or "better at" in this society is done by any means necessary: through deception, manipulation and abuse. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that self-improvement, making me the object of consumption, is the ego manifestation of greed and the need for recognition and specialness.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that projects of betterment are a form of self-abuse because I have to force them upon myself and realise that many times where I apply force upon myself, to discipline myself, I will escape this force in other areas where I self-sabotage so as to create a balance between "force" and "release".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that discipline is only one thing: self-will through breathing, and that all mental stimulation of disciplining myself always exist within the energy-producing mechanisms, such as judgement/polarisations that produce emotions e.g. fear.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my "there is always room for improvement" character is fearing who I am in self-trust.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother angrily criticising me for my ineffectiveness/inefficiency exist within me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of my mother angrily criticising me for my ineffectiveness/inefficiency.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define success, security, achievement and excellence within the memory of my mother angrily criticising me for my ineffectiveness/inefficiency.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from success, security, achievement and excellence through defining success, security, achievement and excellence within the memory of my mother angrily criticising me for my ineffectiveness/inefficiency. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that success, security, achievement and excellence are here as me equal and one in every moment. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my "there is always room for improvement" character has a need for speed because I, as the character, want to get "ahead" of myself without the patience of breathing here. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my "there is always room for improvement" character is a future projection because to assess and evaluate what can be improved requires comparison, planning and projection of a goal into the future, thus as this character I am never in the moment here, equal and one. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I, as my "there is always room for improvement" character can support others by pointing out where improvement is necessary, whereby I do not realise that not teaching from self, equal and one, I am teaching from superiority. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to criticise others if they are not effective and efficient enough not realising that I form and perceive the person's value based on this judgement and thus, cannot value myself either because I am also judging who I am based on my ineffectiveness and inefficiency.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others based on their effective/efficient performance and based on this judgement I generate emotions, e.g. anger. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that my "there is always room for improvement" character is NOT about learning but about NOT accepting me as one and equal - it is about giving value to myself based on some external characteristic and property which is directly tied to money, performance and consumption in the absence of LIFE. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the value of LIFE is LIFE and that learning is who I am as the  substance of life, which requires no evaluation, no judgement, it is equality and oneness, manifested as the physical.


I commit myself to stop and delete the "there is always room for improvement character" and learn as me here in the physical.


I commit myself to teach others as me here in the physical, breathing, by being the living example. 


I commit myself to stop participating in greed through my "there is  always room for improvement" character.


I commit myself to develop self-trust as me and learn from the starting point of trusting myself and others as me by aligning myself to the principle of equality and oneness.


I commit myself to breathe and learn here in the physical through consistent application. 


I commit myself stop using my memories to create energetic charges as the multiple characters I allow myself to exist as by practicing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. 

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