Thursday, July 5, 2012

Day 79, 2012 My "I can't go on anymore" character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that wants to change her life in one instance because all that is not working out just seems too much and "I can't go on anymore".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my mother's character who "can't go on anymore" and who I have used to program myself in the same manner. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall memories of my mother's character that used to play out "I can't go on anymore" to get my father's attention about an issue or a situation that needed to be changed. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall that my mother's character who stated "I can't go on anymore", which gave her permission to complain about my behaviour and her dissatisfaction with me. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in guilt because I reacted to my mother's character who stated "I can't go on anymore".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I cause misery in other people's lives as I programmed myself to believe that I caused my mother misery and thus I programmed myself to remain by myself to avoid possibilities of bothering anyone.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recall my father's character who stated "I don't bother anyone" in response to my mother who complained about his behaviour. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of my father stating in response to my mother's complaints about his behaviour "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my father exist within me where he responds to my mother's complaints about him with "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define honesty, harmlessness, and being considered within a memory of my father responding to my mother complaining about his behaviour with "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from honesty, harmlessness, and being considered through defining honesty, harmlessness, and being considered within the memory of my father responding to my mother complaining about his behaviour with "I don't bother anyone", in separation of myself.


I realise that honesty, harmlessness, and consideration for others are here with me equal and one in every breath. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to play a character who believes and acts from the viewpoint of "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold back from interacting with others because I play the character "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate, worry, and judge before interacting with others, to evaluate myself and to make sure that "I don't bother anyone".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my mother acting as the character that would state "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my mother exist within me where my mother's character states "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance within the memory of my mother's character stating "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance through defining unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance within the memory of my mother's character stating "I can't go on anymore" to get mine and my father's attention, in separation of myself. 


I realise that I am equal to unworthiness, ungratefulness, confusion, and defiance by breathing here in the physical.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character "I can't go on anymore" when I want something or someone to clean up my situation.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the character "I can't go on anymore" is making a religious statement where I am referring to a greater power outside of myself which is god but since god is not real, this greater power then becomes the person who is closest to me at this time. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the character I play when I state "I can't go on anymore" does not want to take responsibility for what is here for what I have created, which then gives me an escape route of multiple dimensions, which is blaming others, getting sick, or dreaming of a better life. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that states "I can't go on anymore" to make radical decisions where I do not consider what is best for all or consider the consequences of the decisions in the physical world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that states "I can't go on anymore" to make radical decisions in my world but to only say I will do what I decide, when in actuality I do not use the decision I have made in the physical but only use the decision to manipulate and sabotage myself and others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character that states "I don't bother anyone" to sabotage and manipulate myself and others.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character that states "I can't go on anymore" to sabotage and manipulate myself and others. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself within the characters "I can't go on anymore" and "I don't bother anyone".


I realise that I can stop these characters in one breath, because I am not these characters. 


I commit myself to stop existing as all characters, and delete each character that I have chosen to play one by one.


I stop existing as character "I can't go on anymore", and I stop existing as character "I don't bother anyone".


I commit myself to be here in breath in the physical. 

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