Thursday, July 5, 2012

Day 78, 2012 My "I learn the hard way" character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play a character that believes that "I learn the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that all I do must come to me "the hard way", because I must "earn" what I deserve.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have sabotaged my activities so that I suffer and tailor my life to the character that learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that life is hard and that suffering is part of life, and if I do not suffer I am not living and thus not really learning anything. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to must be "intense" about living because I believe that I must play the character who learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that "the hard way" to learning and living is the right/good/positive way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with the belief that what comes to me the hard way stays with me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused myself through the character that I believe to be me who learns "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the proverbs my parents used to justify and accept that life must be hard and difficult is part of the Germanic cultural heritage, which acknowledges that abuse is part of learning and building character. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been part of a school system that used extensive fear and physical disciplining to install the belief in each student that we can be accomplished learners by doing it "the hard way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" in a number of ways. 


I forgive myself of accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" in making slow progress where the amount of work is not equal to the output. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" where I must commit myself to activities until I physically suffer before I have the satisfaction that I have given my best. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" through fear and worry which creates a belief that I have no options, and that only the worst case scenario will be the outcome. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" that I must be a repeater of a scenario, a situation, a circumstance until I get it right and can move on. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" with not letting it show when I suffer but to "keep my head up" and keep going. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by having to be radical in some way.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by taking the option that requires the most loss, the most pain, the most investment, the most adjustment, the most sacrifice, and eschew all other options if they are too easy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" to be in conflict with myself where I desire/want/need but I do not give it to myself and thus must wait because I belief "the hard way" requires patience. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "the hard way" by pushing a situation to the limit until some devastating consequence occurs instead to looking at the situation from the beginning in common sense and preceding from common sense as starting point. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utlise stress, anger, worry, fear, anxiety, despair, impatience, self-righteousness, jealousy, laziness, competition, sabotage and manipulation in playing out the "I learn the hard way character" 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project "the hard way" character on others and thus expect others to do it the hard way and when they don't, I judge from a starting point of superiority.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of others who have things come to them "the easy way".


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that "the hard way", it is a character is an attachment that I can delete in one breath.


I realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the character who does it the "hard way" which is also evident in the lives of my parents, and which has been "encouraged" by my parents. 


I realise that I no longer need to play "the hard way" character and I give myself the permission to stop and let go of the burden of the past and all the consequential outflows. 


I commit myself to stopping all aspects of the "I do it the hard way" character, and all other characters that are supportive of the personality which is in charge of the "I do it the hard way" character. 


I commit myself to stop all separation of myself through the characters I play out within my personalities.

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