Monday, July 2, 2012

Day 75, 2012 The character thrill of the innocent

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have established many characters, as me, led by the theme of innocence. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more innocent than my parents and that I have preserved innocence in my approach to life - as to the many characters I play.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have used innocence to shape my characters and to excuse myself to take up responsibility for who I am in this world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use innocence in my characters because I recognise the system we live by as abusive, deceptive and manipulative and by maintaining innocence I sought to escape the system. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that innocence is a good/positive/right, and that it conveniently provides me with being gullible when needed.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being gullible describes that something is being done to me by other people, an exploitation of sorts, of the character who is innocent which would be me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that hiding behind innocence within my characters has provided me with the excuses to have specific ways to exist in the system whereby I have used the innocence to pick out the focus of my life that is con-venient for me, such as spending most of my life in education.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the characters that I play are innocent and thus they are fundamentally exempt from having a lot of responsibility - similar to what how we see children in this society.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used various explanations such as being a late bloomer, or not having had a lot of interaction with my parents, as excuses to insist on the characters that build on innocence. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have elevated innocence as desirable character trait because it has gotten me through difficult situations with my parents and has provided me with the courage to make decisions without being too worried about the potential outcomes.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised how the innocence of my characters has kept me trapped and dependent on my parents. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep innocence as the main point when interacting with my parents because this is what I believe my parents want from me without creating a conflictual situation or challenging my interactions with them. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have spent years pursuing spiritual activities, such as meditation and the study of sanskrit, because this was supportive of innocence within my many characters. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wanted to be a nun at some point when I was a child because a nun seemed to be the perfect innocent character, as this was played out by one of my aunts who could never do anything wrong in the eyes of my parents.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used innocence in my characters to justify introversion because I did not want to "spoil" my characters through social interaction with others - as this may have challenged my characters and provoked change. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have chosen friends and acquaintances who would accommodate and validate the innocence in my characters.


I commit myself to stop and delete all characters I play and step out of character, including all themes under which the characters where established.


I commit myself to stop all fear of loss which prevents me from stepping out of character. 


I commit myself to not recreate myself in character but to rebirth myself from the physical.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger