Saturday, July 28, 2012

Day 102, 2012 ...giving up? It's a character



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept myself to exist as the “I give up” character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted myself as powerless because I have grown up in a world where I was taught and believed that everything in the world was bigger than me, and where I could only do one thing and succeed, which is try to adjust myself to fit in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created myself as the “I give up” character from within my mothers womb - as in the original polarisation of negative experience/starting point seeking the polar opposite in positivity which plays out within the context of me being not enough as me/self, and thus I must strife to create more of me/self by seeking to satisfy the external structures that which we as humanity have put into place to limit ourselves, and to ensure that all who try to change the ways of humanity so that life can better for all, will succumb to the “I give up” character. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the structures we have erected in form of the layers up on layers of rules/regulations as well as traditions and cultural behavioural patterns along with mechanisms of policing ourselves e.g. morality, have only served to maintain these structures and have reinforced the existence of the “I give up” character. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have existed in separation about knowing what needs to be done and not doing it in the world because I have limited myself through fear and ego, and where I have taken “the bigger than me aspect" of the world around me as my cue for how I have shaped myself through programming and have done nothing to close the gap of separation by pushing myself to do that which I know needs to be done - which I have kept to myself in secret - and have justified myself in self-righteousness as to why I can’t do anything about it through my self-created separation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have never understood that the self-pitty, self-defeat, and self-diminishment are not in support of who I am but in support of the system because every time I make a step forward to close the gap between the system and myself and I give up in response to the system, I use self-pitty, self-defeat, and self-diminishment to return to my position. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have trained myself to respond to external circumstances instead of act in common sense by utilising the giving up character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek out pleasant experiences not realising the self-deception because "pleasant" is a state of mind in absence of common sense. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use how I feel in my body as excuse why I need to give up in order to improve how I feel - thus believing my mind to tell me what is good for my body when my mind is so utterly separated from my body, where I am completely unaware of my breathing or the internal state of my organs, yet I trust my mind in the “promise” to feel better when I give up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not realise that the “I give up” character starts as soon as I get up in the morning when I do not self-direct to accomplish what I set out to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my “I give up” character is about a momentary decision that I make, which affects all parts of my life in its consequence across moments, days, months and years. 
I commit myself to stop all beliefs that in and of themselves are limitations.
I commit myself to stop all diversion manoeuvres which will lead to giving up
I commit myself to push myself beyond my fears from and of the system and realise that all fears are made to keep me in my position.

I commit myself to give myself permission to move beyond my fears. 
I commit myself to release all ego mechanisms that prevent me from walking in common sense.
I commit myself to stop listening to my mind concerning my body and use muscle testing to access information of my body. 

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