Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 70, 2012 Peak moments of specialness


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to celebrate anything.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebration is the acknowledgement that all I do is done from an anthropocentric stance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not realise that a celebratory attitude ranges from subtle to large scale and thus can easily escape my awareness. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that a subtle celebratory attitude is encapsulated in anything I look back on as accomplishment and then allow myself to take a break, or watch a movie, or take it easy, or any other excuse that makes my momentary existence exceptional from other times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebration permeates our culture, such as celebrating the end of the school term, celebrating a performance/festival/event; celebrating holidays, the weekend, festive days; celebrating marriage, birth, death and so forth. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the right to celebrate is equal to the right to abuse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebratory attitudes are a form of delusion to ensure to ourselves that the world is ok as long as we have something to celebrate. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebration is a counter mechanism to self-investigation because celebration indicates the apex of specialness, and the external manifestation thereof - it does not allow for the questioning of one’s motives or starting points. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that physical celebration is oneness and equality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebration is “mind feeding” time because all celebration is accompanied by energetic charges that are induced through high-flying feelings such as the habitual smiley faces that are associated with images of celebration, and other supporting elements such as drugs e.g. alcohol, cigarettes, and food indulgence. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make celebration a synonym for feeling good.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuated celebration through polarisation: on the one hand is celebration and the other is deservedness. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that celebration is a supporting mechanism of consumerism that drives the capitalistic system I accept with my participation where ever more inventions/reasons and objects/goods to use in celebration drive the process of self-destruction - as it is evident with the recently Europeanised holiday “Halloween” which has been imported into Europe because it opens up a market for plenty of typical Halloween paraphernalia that can be sold to kids and adults alike.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use children as the excuse to indulge in celebrations (such as Christmas, Purim, Eid ul-Fitr) with gifts and material goods - although we recognise that we are celebrating consumerism we are unwilling to change this situation, and thus we perpetuate the abusive system we have created.
I recognise that to stop celebrating collective holidays does not stop the celebratory attitude that I have subtly programmed as myself, to provide myself with excuses to acknowledge my ego (specialness) in how I go about my daily activities. 

I realise that I have not addressed the root of this collectively accepted way to exist in specialness and self-interest so that I no longer accept the excuses I give myself for special moments. 
I commit myself to pace myself evenly at all times within all I do so that I can be consistent in conducting my life in the physical and eliminate all excuses that validate exceptional moments and are in celebration of what has just passed. 

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