Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Day 66, 2012 The word 'skill'


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word skill as the ultimate property that I want to acquire as much of as possible because I believe that this will ensure my survival in the world. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the word skill essentially means that “slave till killed” because to acquire skill one must invest one’s life to perfect skill which essentially consumes one's time on earth. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that acquiring a lot of skill is not a guarantee of survival in this world because either one becomes extremely skillful in a narrow manner, meaning in a few disciplines, or one becomes broadly skillful and thus interdisciplinary - in every case one remains at the mercy of the system because a too specialised skill set becomes obsolete and a too broad skill set are too superficial and is not taken seriously by those who are at the centre of the discipline itself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the way the system defines skill is a trap that we have designed to spurn on competitive behaviour. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that despite me knowing how skill operates in the system, I still strive to accumulate skills as a form of survival.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory exist within me as a teenager where I promised myself to get really good grades in school, and all the skills necessary, so that I am able to escape the madness of my family as quickly as possible and never had to come back to it. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory where I promised myself to acquire skills to escape the abuse of my environment.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define survival, freedom, comfort within the memory of me promising myself that I am going to acquire all the skill necessary to escape the abuse of my environment. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from survival, freedom, and comfort through defining survival, freedom and comfort within the memory of promising myself to do what I can to acquire all the skills necessary to escape the abuse of my environment, in separation of myself. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of survival is not remedied through the acquisition of as many skills as possible, but to stop fear is to be here in breath in every moment and change myself, to birth myself from the physical and through this effort bring about an equal money system which provides for all equally, ending all fears including the fear of survival. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that skill is me and not an externalised entity that I need to acquire - because then it is through separation that I perceive skill as more than me where skill becomes a religion.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that accquiring skill is to do something in the physical world and is not about hoarding skills to put on my CV. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to not realise that the way skill is pitched in our society is to create a “competitive playing field” where skills are the weapons.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “one can never have enough skills” which is the attitude of greed and a form of consumption through experience, which is not any different than any other form of consumption and thus based on abuse, deception and self-interest. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused the word skill to get what I want.




Dictionary definition:


skill  (skɪl) - special ability in a task, sport, etc, esp ability acquired by training


Sounding the word:


s- keel - part of the bottom of a ship providing stability. The believe that skill provides stability in obtaining my basic needs for survival. 




Redefining the word:


Learned ‘physicalised’ methods and approaches through application of self here in breath, so that I, as an individual, can participate and contribute in the creation of a system that is founded on the understanding that the value of life is life and implements and maintains what is best for all equally. 

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