Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Day 64, 2012 What I want in the picture that I am - part 9: work, work, work - the Germanic cultural phenomenon


I want to get everything done!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am suppressing myself which accumulates in anger because I am not self-honestly assessing how I go about my daily activities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger because I have not yet walked the point of self-direction and thus experience impatience towards myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger because I still base my life around the todo items on my list. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in frustration because I am still, at times, overwhelmed by all the things I have to do, where I do not immediately stop and return to breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in frustration because I believe that I am not getting to the bottom of this pattern. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act from morality where I do not allow myself to participate in activities that do not have a clear purpose in “getting things done” and thus I take on the role of my parents who repeatedly urged the point of working more and discouraged the point of play and relaxation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself in regards to allowing myself to play, based on what I experienced in my childhood, that play was only acceptable when I deserved it, meaning when I could point to an achievement. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have admired others, who are high-playing flyers at the university for example, who always had time to play and, at the same time, were very successful in their work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I do not have a balanced life, I tend to slow down in getting work-related activities done instead of “staying on the ball”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that one day, I will have caught up with my work not realising that this is actually impossible and that all I can do at is to move priortised items forward.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the delusion of reaching a point where all my projects are done and I then actually have time to play, as my parents have always told me, instead of realistically learning to balance my life so that I do not suppress part of myself and end up separating myself from myself.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when I am not working my list off because I have programmed myself on the basis of morality that playing is wrong/bad/negative when there are other more pressing things that must be done. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always look for connections of “something useful” even when I am playing, because I believe that I must make the most of my time. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being effective enough and thus I fear not having control over my life. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to be in control of my life means I am the one breathing here, and I self-direct in breath regardless of the activity I am engaged in. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I indulge in working straight, I slip into escape mechanisms where I am only showing myself that what I suppress is surfacing in other ways, e.g. abdominal pain, food cravings, etc. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify with my external achievement which I use to measure myself and thus establish self-value. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my achievements in the external world are not an indicator of how effective I am but an indicator of how much I am still executing the programs where I base my self value on performance. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my compulsion to work is also a cultural phenomenon to which I have programmed myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as representative of the German culture, to be obsessed with work and accomplishments, as a way to determine my purpose in life and derive self-value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as a representative of the German culture, to have formulated many proverbs in the various Germanic dialects that program humans to become slave to their work and feel good about it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as a representative of the German culture, to be proud of my accomplishments and believe that I have to uphold quality work as a national symbol of the culture rather than the production of quality work as me in my contribution to what is best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf as representative of the German culture to judge others as lazy who do not see their fulfillment and purpose in work. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as representative of the German culture, to never see my work as good enough but to always see where I need to improve. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as representative of the German culture, to be unified in the ideas of abuse of the physical as far as the importance of work, of labour, and not realise that we are separated in what is best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, as represenative of the German culture to condem doing nothing as wasting my life, not realising that doing nothing is to breathe and breathing is to be alive. 
I commit myself to ending the pattern of compulsive work, and the need to identify who I am by and how much work I do.  
I commit myself to establish an equal money system where work is seen for what it is,  namely to ensure that all are taken care of equally and have what they need, and that all production of work serves the principle of equality and what is best for all, in the support of life and has no other value whatsoever.

I commit myself to never again allow work to be more important than life and will do what it takes to implement mechanisms that will prevent this from happening ever again. 

I commit myself to end all value-derivatives through performance, which includes all types of work, for all living beings on planet earth. 

I commit myself to work diligently to show and speak about the brainwashing we have received in that we seek to fulfil ourselves through work for money. 

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