Friday, June 22, 2012

Day 61, 2012 What I want in the picture that I am - part 8: where I want to live in this world


I want to find the best place to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that where I live disadvantages me and my partner economically, and thus I have to place myself strategically to create an economic advantage for us.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I place myself strategically in the world then I can escape the coming events of the collapsing world economy, and preempt further problems for us.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that seeking protection for myself and my kin is separating myself from the whole that is humanity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am now ready to settle down.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that settling down means that I accept my life in a static form, and in that I accept the system and the definitions of myself within the system by which humanity operates. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that “the desire to settle down” indicates that my explorations in the world are over, and that I have reached a level of saturation concerning the imprinting of pictures, the collection of experiences, and with that I accept and allow myself to live in the delusion that I can settle down to create security for myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want security so that I do not have to change myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive settling down as no longer wanting to put up with the unpleasant experience of leading an unstable life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that settling down means that i want to put myself “into a place” similar to how I give an object a place on the shelf.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire material comfort, and that I associate this material comfort with settling down. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define “security” within material comfort. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to convince myself to believe that by living in the proximity of the developing Asian markets I have a better chance in securing financial stability as when living elsewhere in the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that these are future mental projections that stem of my fear of survival.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that without money I cannot survive, and that I must do what I whatever I must do to insure that I have foresight in how to conduct my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a memory of my father exists within me where he reproached me because I exist too much in the moment and not enough in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto to a memory of my father reproaching me because I exist too much in the moment and not enough in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define security, planning and well-being within the memory of my father reproaching me because I exist too much in the moment and not enough in the future. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from security, planning and well-being through defining security, planning and well-being within the memory of my father reproaching me because I exist too much in the moment and not in the future, in separation of myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to fear the future. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that the future is going to be even harder than the present.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I won’t have help in the future in case I need it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loneliness in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define loneliness as not having other people’s support when I really need it. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be rid of my problems and believe that by planning my future I can preempt material and financial loss. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of loss is tied to the fear of survival where I fear losing what I have today to some unknown future event.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that these types of thoughts create my behaviour and that I create my world through the accepted preprogramming as me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that any perceived insecurity I attach to the world events, and to the desire to live in a strategically beneficial place - that these externally directed insecurities are really my own insecurities and that through the development of self-trust I can stop all insecurities.

I commit myself to stop seeking security in my external world through stopping all fears related to survival.

I commit myself to direct my efforts towards the establishment of an equal money system, where survival fear will no longer have a place in any being's life.

I commit myself to realise that any form of security is a mind delusion which causes separation, and all thoughts that support delusion must be eradicated through breath and self-forgiveness - walked in self-corrective action. 

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