Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Day 22, 2012 I want control


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself within the desire to be in control about a situation that needs resolution. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react emotionally if I do not get what I want within a situation that I need to resolve for myself, where I see myself as entitled to get what I want. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to block myself from moving forward in the best possible manner, within a situation that I need to resolve, because I get stuck within the emotions surrounding my desire to want control over the situation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in the desire for control and by doing so either ignore the situation that needs resolution, or fear the same situation and thus, as a result, I am unable to see beyond the fear - I cannot move myself out of the situation and remain stuck - failing to take self-responsibility to direct myself out of the situation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by trapping myself in the desire for control and not being able to control a situation that needs resolution, I allow myself to respond in self-pity because there is an emotional built up,  instead of standing up and moving myself towards a resolution, here in every breath. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wallow in self-pity because I want attention from others, and I want someone else to take care of my situation that I need to resolve for myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses for not taking the steps that need to be taken with consistency and application, to resolve my situation, because I allow myself to exist with the situation from the starting point of ‘desire for control’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire outcome of a situation that needs to be resolved, and having this desire, I focus on the future outcome of the situation, not breathing within this moment, here with all my parts but to exist in a fragmented manner, in separation of myself, because I fear that my desire will not be fulfilled and thus I will not be in control. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself throughout my childhood that I need to be in control of a situation not understanding that the only control I have is in raising myself in awareness towards my allowances and acceptances, to release these through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, and to bring myself back to the physical world in every moment until I stop my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that within the desire for control over my life I do not accept myself in self-trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my power lies within my application within my process. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this desire for control makes me overlook solutions for the situation that are best for all, because I have trapped myself and cannot see beyond the confines of my emotions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this is a program I run since childhood where I, through tantrums, controlled my environment, because I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within manipulation and deceptions of which tantrums are an outflow. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the ‘desire for control’ over a situation that needs resolution is self-manipulation where I self-sabotage solutions towards the situation, and enter into an emotional roller-coaster of highs and lows - as I realise that I have created this self-sabotage. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire control over a situation that needs resolution, as I see the situation from the point of ego, I accept self-definitions of inferiority because I am unable to control the situation and bring about its resolution.  
I commit myself to stop all desire for control of any situation in my life that I need to bring to resolution, and in doing so I take responsibility for me here as the physical being that I am.

I commit myself to stopping the cycle of 'desire for control', 'self-pity' because I do not have control, and 'self-sabotage' of opportunities that present themselves as solution for the situation. 
I commit myself to stop all ego fits that have only one function which is to trap me in my mind, and to do what it takes to step-by-step bring about a solution for any situation in my life that needs to be dealt with, without allowing myself to respond to self-judgment, and by doing so I apply common sense to ensure the outcome is best for all.
I commit myself to stop all that is projected because I realise that all that is projected is beyond the physical existence and can only be mental, including all attributes that I have identified myself with, they are projected personality constructs - and that I accept the death of my personality to rebirth of myself here in the physical. 

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