Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Day 41, 2012 It's only a number - Christmas programming


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with the belief that the 25th day of each month is a day where I can expect difficulties. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that any day of the month can be more difficult than any other, which is completely my own doing and has nothing to do with my external reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have seen enough days of the 25th so that I can see a pattern of difficulties, not realising that I am creator of the pattern. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to anticipate difficulties on the 25th of every month.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as embarrassed for such obvious self-manipulation of having programmed myself around a number to determine my experiences. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed because I don’t want to let go and fear change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used the date “25th” to enslave myself, and to recall this enslavement every month because Christmas has been a difficult experience for me when I lived with my parents. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think: “it’s the 25th - something bad is going to happen today”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “it’s the 25th - something bad is going to happen today” with anxiety. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to face difficulties because I don’t want to face myself within the emotional reactions I allow and accept.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memories of Christmas by making every 25th of any month a Christmas day from the point of my memories. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of Christmas to having difficulties every 25th of each month. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I anticipate Christmas with anxiety. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have usually tried to escape the Christmas frenzy by getting out of the country. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use escape as a way to resolve anger, anxiety and dislike.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I have programmed myself to deny my experiences by running away not realising that I only suppress them deeper. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am no longer living with my parents, and that I no longer need to hold onto the memories and live my life according to what is best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define difficulties as external events to which I have attend to and which cause emotions within me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that to perceive ‘living’ in polarisation - as in good/right/positive experiences versus bad/wrong/negative experiences, is an indication that I exist in energy. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that failure is a difficulty and that I need to avoid it, that it is negative/bad/wrong.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that money expenses are a difficulty because they are negative/bad/wrong because I experience myself in anxiety over money. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with a pattern within a pattern ( the 25th being the pattern and within that I have programmed myself to accept that pattern that difficulty as anxiety and fear exist)
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that all events in my life are equal and that it is the emotions/feelings that I attach to the events that give it an energetic charge. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resistance to writing this self-forgiveness on this point because I believe it’s trivial.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to strive for a life without difficulty which is how I lull myself in future projections and believe in hope. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that a life without difficulty cannot be achieved in the current economic system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I commit myself to to self-change through self-realisation I must face all that the system presents me with equally


I commit myself to stop all memories I hold onto that have to do with celebratory days, such as Christmas, Easter, Birthday, New Years day, anniversary, death day. 

I commit myself to stop all definitions around events in my life within polarisation, and stand equal to all events that occur in my life.

I commit myself to deal with any and all memories and definitions regarding 'celebratory' days by writing forgiveness on the memory and definition and equalising myself to the memory and definitions as I walk it/them in breath. 

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Copyright © . Is life possible without the mind? - Posts · Comments
Theme Template by BTDesigner · Powered by Blogger