Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 40, 2012 Manipulation and sabotage between us


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when I realise that my partner has been sabotaging a situation, which entails trying to spoil my enjoyment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not draw the consequence on a particular manipulation scenario and stop sharing myself on that level until my partner stops the manipulation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by not drawing the consequences and stop sharing situations of enjoyments, I continue to support the manipulation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking action but instead hope for the situation to change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger to the behavior of when he sabotages our time together.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow abuse when I don’t set clear limits for what I allow and accept.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if I allow manipulation and sabotage, which I am aware of in another, I allow manipulation and sabotage to exist within myself as well. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my reaction of anger because I feel that he deserves me to be angry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that reactions of anger are self-defeating and are affecting my process by allowing for energetic charges and thoughts. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still to pretend to be angry even when I am no longer angry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend to be angry to teach the other a lesson, and because I believe that this helps the other to change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself in childhood to pretend to be experiencing an emotion to manipulate and sabotage others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that we are manipulating and sabotaging each other, and that by not creating clear agreements of what we are allowing and what not - we will repeat situations where we both accept and allow abuse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must be patient to allow for the other’s learning curve, which is female ego behaviour because I do not want to exist in conflict and take responsibility for what I accept. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that I must stop my female ego behaviour because it is not who I am.
I commit myself to continue our once a week meeting to review our self-honesty progress, and to find better ways to track what happens during the week so that the issues can be better addressed when we have our weekly review. 
I commit myself to stop my female ego participation with my partner
I commit myself to stop participating in situations that have caused manipulation and sabotage, and do what is best for all. 

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