Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 39, 2012 Ego stroking



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek out situations and respond to them on automatic pilot because I want others to say kind words to me and be thankful.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am just helping someone when I pick something up they have dropped, or when I hold the door open, or when I let someone go in front of me when standing in a queue.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pursue acts of kindness out of self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have trained myself in using kindness as a tool to manipulate others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to no longer want to engage in social etiquette because I realise it’s just lipservice, yet I am engaging in “little acts of kindness” that are energy based and feed my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can participate in the social conventions at a minimal level without energetic charge. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that as long as I have strong dislike towards social conventions and social etiquette, I have an emotional energetic investment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I still like recognition for my work instead of understanding that this feeds the cycle of competition and diversion and keeps me and others enslaved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that attachment to energetic highs has enslaved me through ‘liking my work’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my ego and automatic responses in public situations are connected. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself in a ‘good light’ when I am in public situations. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be friendly to others I don’t know because it sets up a dynamic for manipulation, and through manipulation can I get what I want. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have wanted to be a 'good' person not realising that good/bad people is the polarisation that keeps us enslaved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised what the consequences are - when I desire help us those who are worse off than me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to help others so that I can feel better about myself. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say things to others that are deceptive because I want ‘something’ in return.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continously position myself as higher or lower - in relation to others around me.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being proud and wanting others to come to me instead of me reaching out to be with others. 
I commit myself to end stroking my ego.
I commit myself to vigilantly uncover ego mechanisms in the various behaviours of my person. 
I commit myself to embrace myself with all its ego so that I can change me and become Self as the physical body. 


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