Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 38, 2012 I am women in this society


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear physical touch on parts of my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to know not why I fear to be touched on certain parts of my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must protect my body from tender touch because this touch cannot be trusted. 
I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to experience my body in a fragmented manner where some parts are more equal than others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to instructions in my childhood, that tell me that I have to sit with my legs together to avoid exposing my sexual organs to men. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to instructions in my childhood, to walk in small steps because that is more feminine. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself, as a child, to make a curtsy, bending my knees in respect to others, where I learned to bend my Self because of my gender and to accustom myself with the position of women in the society. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to identify femininity in long hair, pretty clothes, and shoes with heels. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have realised that standing on heels is indicative of being off the ground, disconnected from reality and unstable - to a point where the physical body is nearly immovable compared to standing with my feet fully on the ground. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look into the mirror not to see me as Self but the image I would like to project into the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that aging does not preserve femininity, and that old women have lost their expression as females in the world. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my breasts to other women’s breasts in terms of signs of aging and loss of shape.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like my breasts because they show only few signs of aging and loss of shape.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be more concerned with how my body looks than in how I feel in my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wrestle with myself about liking or not liking clothes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly wish we would all have to wear uniforms so that I no longer would have to deal with this point in my life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wear clothes to please others and keep an image intact rather than because I like  certain clothes as self-expression.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not wear the clothes I like because I believe that they are too striking and bring attention to me which does not fit my image and the reputation I want to uphold.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change through creating a stagnate idea of myself in form of a belief in reputation. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to blend in and not stand out of the crowd because I believe that this would cause longterm, monetary disadvantages to exist in the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have only a few really good clothes that I have designed myself because this would take the clothes point out of my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that even though I would want to have only a few good clothes designed by me, I do not believe this is possible because I am, as a woman, judged by what I wear. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am judged by what I wear because I am a woman.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seduce myself with creative styling, which I recognise in my enjoyment of wearing certain clothes and also when seeing fashion images that correspond to my taste. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know how to react when men stare at me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to respond energetically to men staring at me even though I am not certain what to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick out men for interaction in critical situations, involving authorities and official matters, because I believe I can manipulate men to my advantage. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself with symbols of femininity that I implement in the image I want to project into the word. 
I commit myself to strip myself of all beliefs of femininity and be here as Self who enjoys her body as physical substance.
I commit myself to end all image creation through dressing and enjoy dressing as my expression. 
I commit myself to end all identification with feminine symbolism and expose it for what it is, to play the energy game and create limitations of who I can be as woman in this world. 
I commit myself to support all women in letting go of programs of femininity and conformity towards the image of an ideal women, which is now so prevalent in our world in all forms of visuals. 

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