Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day 33, 2012 Programming is in the details


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop all resistances by facing them full on but only address a selective few because I believe that I am not aware of the rest. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist directing myself at all times. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stopping my self-talk and the excuses I give to myself for not investigating resistances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist clearing my starting point every time I start a new cycle of movement, a task, or some activity that has a beginning/middle/end. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist looking at my fears, but to use reason to explain the cause of the fear away.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself to investigate each and every time that I have pain in my solar plexus, which is always an indication that I am suppressing an issue - and that this issue must be addressed immediately.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist speaking self-forgiveness loud all of the time, and only allow myself to speak self-forgiveness at dedicated moments or speak it silently. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself to stop all distractions and automated urges and to discipline me through breath in every moment, consistently.
I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to resist dealing with my backchat at all times and not only some of the times. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not immediately respond to my internal resistances when I do not want to engage in a particular activity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist playing the “I am right game” even though I am aware of moments where I can just stop.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear in conversations with others to stop myself mid-sentence, when I have realised that I am participating in the creation of energetic moments, when others are around me (who are not part of Desteni), and thus resist myself in doing what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself to let go of my personality pattern - when I know exactly the moments when I am not myself but am in a personality phase because I am moving from an energetic point of view.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist to apply my Self exclusively because I know that there is no reason to ever produce energetic responses, no matter what happens in the world around me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist seeing others as myself and to stop the separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist to stop making assumptions when I engage in egotistical justifications and confirmations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself to communicate with others, when I know that I would like to be communicated with as well - thus I do not give what I want to receive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to resist diversions and stay on the ball - because I know that when I divert myself is when  I don’t want to face myself within a task.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist difficulties within tasks, where I do not want to face myself because I fear failure, when I have shown myself time and again that all I have to do is to push through the moment of resistance because the fear of failure is delusion, and instead I waste time because I will have to complete the task sooner or later. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist acting with consistent movement breath-by-breath- because I believe that this stresses me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself when writing professionally because I believe I don’t have all the information in my head and must pause and research more - thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust my abilities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that resistances are everywhere and that I can use resistance as starting point for investigations into my  patterned behaviour and accepted beliefs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stopping all wants and desires, and focus my life in the physical reality, in every moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist not having an opinion - even though I often realise that there is no point in having an opinion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist being here in the moment, in countless instances, where I see clearly what I would have to do to stay in breath, but not do it because I give into my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not resist feeding my ego within interaction with others. 

I commit myself to walk my process step-by-step and to forgive and correct myself within the issues/topics that come up in every  moment - and not judge these as too small or to insignificant to work with.

I commit myself to establish the foundation of my process which is to get to the point where I am entirely self-directed in every moment of breath. 

I commit myself to use my resistances as ways to push myself to write, investigate, understand and release - and walk the self-corrective application until it's done.

I commit myself to find areas within my programming that are specifically difficult and push myself to expose these areas to myself - and clean up the programming

I commit myself to move myself through all resistances at all times, breath-by-breath, and stop all excuses. 


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