Friday, May 18, 2012

Day 31, On the ban that Self accepts


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandon my Self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am able to abandon myself not realising that this fear is indeed the ‘ban’ on my Self that I create when I do not stand as equal to all that is here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of abandonment is the fear that I can give up on me, which I can instigate through my mind, the confirmation of ego mechanisms that I identify with, and that cause havoc in my life - if I believe in the thoughts that are surrounding these mechanisms and I allow them to prompt me to action. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abandonment means a ban that I impose (donner) on my Self, to not see what I have allowed and accepted to become. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that abandonment is the bond that I have created in self-enslavement with the mind between myself and all selves that are me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this fear of abandonment is the fear of doing to myself what I have done to all of creation, where I have run away from my responsibility as integral part of existence, and have come up with excuses, life time after life time, why I should not wake up, stand up, and change myself to change the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see this reality as the reflection of me, the acceptance of not-caring behaviour exposed to my very eyes every time I see animal abuse, the raping of the earth for resources, and the commodification of childhood and children -  all which is silently enduring the hallmark of a humanity chained by self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to easily blame others so that I stand free from self-responsibility for my experience of abandonment, with the excuse that I was only a child yet not grasping that abandonment is an accumulative effect of the cycles of abuse, that we all have lived as children and parents alike, and collectively allowed and accepted to exist. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that fear of abandonment is fear of rejection of self, the fear of not being needed and not belonging, which is the mind’s statement on not wanting to die. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can stop self-banning any moment through self-trust and walking in breath to be here with all that is here, at all times. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognise that what I perceive as abandonment between myself - a ban provided by my mind - is the result of polarisation of accepting the “less than” position from within the two poles of “less than” and “more than” - and that this constitutes the absence of equality. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused substance through the creation of thoughts that are fears of abandonment which have manifested in various places of my physical body. 
I commit myself to stopping all thoughts within the awareness that these are the outflow of programs that I have allowed and accepted to define me, and within that I am the one who believes these thoughts to be true, and in that I am not living on earth but in my mind.
I commit myself to realising all the intricate connections between the mind and my thoughts, and to render these aware to myself and in doing so I no longer ban my Self through the programmed ties of my mind. 
I commit myself to end the separation that I allow to exist as me when I believe my thoughts which I do by taking responsibility for what goes in my mind, in my actions and in my world. 

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