Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Day 30, 2012 In concentration on a task


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that concentration on an activity or task is related to me being here. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need time to get into an activity or task, to be deeply concentrated, not realising that I have programmed myself to believe this to be true.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the quality of my work is dependent on how well I can concentrate on the activity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the quality of my work is connected to being here, and not being in thought. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer to be concentrated on one thing at a time because I believe that I can produce better results. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised that anxiety has been reason why I, at times, cannot work better, faster, and more effectively.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the goal of being more effective, rather than being here in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that to switch from one activity to another and be equally effective is a cognitive issue, rather than the degree to which I am here in this moment, breathing. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door when I am studying - where I think I will get to a certain aspect of what I am studying later on, when in actuality I am not, and have simply habituated myself to believe this thought.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door when I am studying - where I think I will get to a certain aspect of what I am studying later on, when in actuality I am not, and then the item goes onto my todo list until I deal with it in a pressing moment. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that studying is programming myself with information and that I can do this any time, any where, and that it does not diminish the quality of learning. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I program myself with new information by breathing here, I make the information me, here in this moment, and have no need to memorise. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave myself a back door not to understand something in detail because I do not cease the moment to understand, here, which then requires me to go back and repeat what I was learning at some later point, and by doing so, I use my time ineffectively.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that walking my process is walking the specificity of me where every move I make is significant. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that practicality and common sense are both hinging on how much I remain here in the moment and identify my patterns of behaviour/thinking/believing to release these, to self-direct every moment of my life. 
I commit myself to, step by step, investigate all my activities and uncover through awareness the patterns I have accepted to be me and thus when I do so, I release them through self-forgiveness and walk the self-corrective application here in breath. 

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