Monday, May 14, 2012

Day 27, 2012 Trekpaardenfeest Sint-Pietersplein Gent


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, used horses to entertain myself and others, treating horses as slaves for human pleasure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, abused horses in the creation of a picture of the horse to my liking, and my use of the picture, and in this have not respected the being that is the horse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, used horses to extend myself in competition without having given any consideration to the horse because I believe that I am entitled to use all animals as a resources for humans.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have, as an instance of consciousness, abused the horse as the representation as extension of its owner, to feed within myself and others the energetic high of winning and losing. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have reacted to the devastating picture of horses being tied up unable to move, and with blinders unable to see, where the horses were clearly suffering, and where I reacted to the expression of the horse which was sad, defeated, and suffering - not realising that this abuse reflects the abuse that we also inflict onto humans, onto ourselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I see animals suffering in human hands, I judge from a position of superiority because I cannot accept that is I who partakes in a system that is abusive to all, and that no animal will be free if humans remain enslaved within this mind-consciousness system - and that this includes me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger ‘against all humans’ because I believe that what I/we do to animals is far worse than the human-to-human abuse because I understand animals as innocent, as burden carrier for humans, whereas I see humans as having brought suffering onto themselves. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by experiencing myself in anger I am separating myself from what is in the world, from all the animals and also the humans, and within that I do not take responsibility. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my experience of myself in powerlessness, not being able to turn off the abuse as entertainment that I recognise, and that this is the way of denying my responsibility, to stop what I see by stopping myself - because I do not realise that this does not enter into my reality unless I am confronted with the sight, the performance of abuse. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by judging the situation in front of me, and by creating feelings of compassion, I confirm myself as abuser, not realising that if I stand without judgement and without feelings towards the picture I perceive I walk myself to freedom and truly support those who have been on the receiving end of the abuse. 
I commit myself to be consistent within my application to self-change, and to stop myself as soon as I perceive myself judging the  rites and rituals of sub-cultures, and to recognise within that my reaction which is based on acceptance of separation. 

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