Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Day 15, 2012 agreement and personality


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my ‘real-tionship’ like a project that I need to work on, and by doing I do I divert myself from seeing who I am in the agreement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am not in balance between who I am within the agreement and how the agreement is evolving. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have self-trust within how I manage my Self within the agreement, what I accept and allow myself to be. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what we live together as our agreement is not unfolding in a ‘fruitful’ direction - yet I have shown to myself that I have been able to release aspects of my personality, which I have never touched upon before - thus I focus on what is ‘not working’ in the agreement instead of seeing that we are both going through our process and not walking a given path.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself as a copy of my mother - because I see that within my personality I am focussed on the ‘other’ and I judge their contribution to the agreement, instead of taking what I experience back to self. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I want to be exempt from being a contributor in how the agreement is going, and that my participation within the areas that I judge as ‘not working‘ is part of whatever is not working. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of control within myself and within the agreement. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can get ‘whatever needs to get done’ more effectively than my agreement partner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on what is not working instead of seeing the balance of things within my process. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that highlighting what is not working in the agreement will create better results in implementing and walking the changes. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust that I can apply myself within the agreement without having to judge it in polarisation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as confined by the agreement because I cannot live my life as if I were alone. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want things to go the way I see them, I realise that that is pure self-interest and does not consider the perspective of another. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my primary concern is the contribution to changing the world so that it is best for all. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate self into believing my future projections about the agreement. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have expectations within the agreement as to how my agreement has to support my process
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish that my agreement partner points me to aspects of my personality that I cannot see for myself - yet I know that through self-honesty and writing I can see this for myself  - and by wishing on my agreement partner  that he can be that for me,  I do not take self-responsibility for self-willed change.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself in focussing on my self-development, whether my agreement is progressing adequately or not.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that if I do not take whatever frustrates me about the agreement “back to self” and judge my partner rather than investigate my contribution, then I am blaming another because I do not want to change.
I commit myself to no longer use any excuses concerning my participation in how our agreement is evolving.
I commit myself to walk the point of control-less interaction with my agreement partner and stop judging and believing that I should or must lead whatever activity we are pursuing at a given time. 
I commit myself to apply myself as equal where I match within my behaviour whatever I would like to see from my agreement partner. 

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