Saturday, April 21, 2012

Day 5, 2012 On Sadness


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memories of my childhood.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am what I experienced in my childhood. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I label my childhood as bad/negative/wrong
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my childhood as an excuse not to stop self-pity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have attachment to the abuse I experienced as a child.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in sadness because I do not get attention from others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself and thus I want attention from others.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek attention from others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need attention from others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good about myself when I get attention from others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and therefore need to get attention from others as self-validation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use attention as a way to divert myself from facing myself and to initiate change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I get attention my life will be better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with feelings to attention given to me because it gives me a momentary validation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be motivated by wanting attention instead of motivating myself in self-movement in creating myself within the principle what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share what I have to share haphazardly because my motivation is not share what is best for all but to share to get attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see getting attention as motivator for my actions. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the need of validation because I hold on to the fear of not being enough, as I program I have accepted in my childhood. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed myself to experience fear of myself when I don’t get validated by someone else.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience emotions through the lack of or reception of attention. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make others responsible for giving me attention when I am not giving attention to myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others when I do not get attention from them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others when they give me attention. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others as good/positive/right when they give me attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others as bad/negative/wrong when they don’t give me attention. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of not being heard by my parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider not being heard by others as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to need others to hear me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate myself when I know that others hear me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate that I am doing the right/good/positive thing when others respond to me because they heard me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for quick fixes when I want others to hear me and respond to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want others to hear me and respond to me which makes believe that I have power.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the program that I installed through my interactions with my mother by having to respond to her to validate that I have heard her and that I will follow her orders.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harbor anger  against mother because I felt she forced me to answer her in compliance with her orders
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in anger because I felt helpless when my mother forced me to respond to her to acknowledge that I have heard her. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not let go of the anger that keeps me enslaved in the programming I have accepted to be me, when I grew up. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept sadness as a way to express my anger that I have suppressed in response to the program I have accepted to be me when interacting with my mother.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not accept that the way I have programmed myself in wanting others to hear me and respond to me I have done so through my own acceptances and allowances. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mother for my experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must hold on to my childhood memories to validate my emotions that I am currently experiencing in my process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is any reason why I must hold onto my memories from my childhood.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot let go of my memories because then I would no longer be sad.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must hold on to sadness to justify what I have experienced as a child. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my parents as special as protectors, as the people who have raised me, as the people I have to be thankful for my existence. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire my parents to be different because I do not like the way they talk to me and so I separate myself from my parents and justify this separation through my experience of sadness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that it is not up to my parents but up to me to talk to my parents, as I talk to other people. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sadness to justify my personality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my likes and dislikes, regarding who I communicate with. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my interactions between my parents and I with that of other people and I, and use this evaluation as justification to feel sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect sadness with self-pity. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that self-pity and sadness help my current situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop self-pity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see self-pity as an adequate way to judge myself and my situation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want attention from others and thus I will accept to feel pity for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stay in breath but instead to move myself into self-pity. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find time and again reasons why I need to recite, memorise or talk about my past from the perspective that I suffered so much instead of taking a stance now that the past is no longer here, and that to free myself from the past I have to let go of the past through self-honesty and self-forgiveness instead of reveling in sadness. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the past as I memorise it to the feeling of sadness.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to free myself from my past but instead hold on to my past in sadness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my past as abusive and in that I trap myself by separating myself from myself because all that is here is me. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the past because through the feeling of sadness I can point fingers to my parents and make them responsible for my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on the past in sadness because then I allow myself to create polarity and justify my anger at my parents. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the self-definition of myself as not being social enough. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to sadness because in this sadness I can isolate myself from others. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad so that I can hold on to my past because I fear change. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad because I fear losing what I know when I let go of what I know to change and become equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in sadness because I judge myself as not social enough. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in sadness because I believe that not being social enough disadvantages me in the long run.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself in sadness, which I use as an excuse not to stand up, and move myself towards becoming more social. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I fear who I am as creative person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my creativity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being creative because I fear that I will be wasting my time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I see being creative as being special.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I do not place value on self-expression. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I have accepted to believe that self-expression has no real value in my busy life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I compare my musical skills to those of other people. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I do not direct myself efficiently and thus waste time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I give in to my mind when creating resistances instead of pushing myself to direct myself here in breath. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I have opportunities to change but I do not take them more seriously. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not understand time management and thus I feel sad. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop self manipulation by not staying focussed on a task and thus I allow myself to feel sad to not have changed. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop self manipulation and thus not take my process as the most important thing in my life, and as a result I feel sad. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as sad because I accept being self-limiting. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad because I place expectation on myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad because I want to live up to my expectations and I don’t. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad because I fear change towards freeing myself from limitation. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that change is difficult and to manipulate my change through accepting sadness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that change is difficult.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect 'difficult' with 'sadness'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge change as difficult.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that sadness helps me in changing because change is difficult.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept sadness to stop myself changing. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that sadness is so deep that I can’t stop it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and become frustrated and within that accept the emotion of sadness as valid.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and thus ‘castrate’ my Self to not change and accept sadness as relief.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept frustration as solution of my problems. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the emotion of frustration with the emotion of sadness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that frustration changes my situation. 
I stop all sadness. I take responsibility for my emotions/feelings I see them for what they are a mechanism of the mindconsciousness system for the production of energy. 
If sadness comes up again, I realise that all I need to do is be here in breath and let the sadness go by without attaching myself to the emotion. I am here, equal and one to sadness.

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