|photo by http://www.klaralux.com|
Self commitment statements on Day 517
I commit myself to stop the automated mechanism to hide my weakness from others because I fear that I will be humiliated. When and as I am in a situation where I am required to display my skills and I do not feel comfortable with my own level of skill, I stop and breathe, I stop all memories that come up from my childhood and do not justify my skill, I engage at whatever level I can and BREATHE.
I commit myself to let go of the memory of my father taking pictures of me in compromising situation, where I felt humiliated and degraded and see, realise and understand that he was doing what was done to him but that i am in the position to stop myself from perpetuating this sort of abusive behaviour in my own life.
I commit myself to stop all self-manipulation in particular the point of believing that I am a fraud. I realise that I use this belief to keep myself trapped in the fear of exposure and to limit myself in many different areas of my life.
I commit to stop blaming my father for how I have programmed myself through the memories I have within the relationship with him. I realise that this is entirely my responsibility, to let go of the memory and start living in the presence.
I commit myself to understand that trust starts with self-trust and not with trusting an external source. I realise that i have used the idea of trust within the context of seeking approval and being accepted, but I see, realise and understand within that that I have used the events that occurred with my parents as self-indentification instead of realising that these events are not who I am.
I commit myself to stop all fear of betrayal by no longer requiring for the world to accept me but instead I accept myself as is.